Christmas burnout: When the festive season exhausts parents

Behind the decorations and happy faces, many parents experience the holiday season under intense pressure. Recent research sheds light on how Christmas stress can lead to parental burnout—and tactics to prevent it. 

December starts, the first advent, the first Christmas trees or the first sip of mulled wine signal the end of the year. Worn out by the past months and darkening days, we begin the count-down until the long-awaited Christmas holidays. 

As the 24 December approaches, this joyful image of the festive season hides something altogether. Stress sets in as we rush through stores and e-commerce websites in search of the perfect gift, spend entire evenings planning menus, decorations, and already overloaded schedules—well before the holidays even begin. Does this sound familiar? You’re not alone. A study conducted among 300 parents in Great Britain by researchers from the University of Luxembourg examined this phenomenon known as “Christmas burnout.” 

‟ End-of-year celebrations do not always rhyme with joy and well-being for parents. Hosting a gathering, trying to please the family and taking care of children during school holidays represent a significant source of stress, added to that of the past year.”

Dr. Ziwen Teuber

Research Scientist at the Faculty of Humanities, Social Sciences and Education

View profile

Smiling at all costs: a reflex with harmful effects

While parents are expected to enjoy “the most wonderful time of the year,” many force themselves to smile despite deep exhaustion. “We observed that parents experiencing burnout tend to deny their emotions and try to appear cheerful so as not to spoil the holidays,” the researcher notes. 

Although well intentioned, this attitude is not without consequences. “The gap between our real emotions and those we communicate to our children is harmful both to long-term mental health and to the quality of the parent–child relationship. Over time, disconnecting from one’s emotions leads parents to become emotionally absent, and interactions deteriorate,” she explains. 

To limit these negative effects, parents should dare to express how they truly feel. “Of course, messages must be adapted to children and conveyed with care, but saying that you are tired is better than pretending everything is fine,” adds Ziwen Teuber. 

Practical ways to get through the holidays more peacefully

However, researchers also identify several ways to avoid starting the new year completely drained.

• 1.

  Stay realistic. There is no need to strive for perfection in everything, from decorations to a five-course meal. Simplifying things allows parents and children alike to enjoy the holidays more fully. 

• 2.

  “There is nothing selfish about listening to your own needs during this period. Giving yourself some ‘me time’, a moment just for yourself, can truly help you get through the holidays.”, says Ziwen Teuber. 

• 3.

  Essential to prevent parental burnout— or recover from it — is one’s support network. Stay connected, ask for help or offer it, as emotional support is particularly effective during this season.

“Our study highlights the importance of social support and co-parent involvement, especially for mothers, as results show they continue to carry a large share of the mental load related to the holiday season,” she concludes. Who is sitting at your table matters more than what’s served on it. What captures better the spirit of Christmas?

What is parental burnout?

Parental burnout occurs when parenting becomes a source of chronic stress and parents feel exhausted. The situation can deteriorate emotionally, leading parents to lose enjoyment in their role and, in some cases, even regret becoming a mother or father. They may distance themselves from their child and feel ashamed or guilty for no longer being able to offer the same presence as before. 

If you have questions or need support, you can visit burnoutparental.com or contact Kannerschlass, which offers workshops for parents, including one specifically dedicated to parental burnout.